52. Parenting Strong-Willed Children: Understanding Their Nature to Transform Challenges

Dajana Yoakley

Apr 17, 2025

Transcript

Parenting Strong-Willed Children: Insights from Kirk Martin

Kirk Martin, founder of CelebrateCalm.com and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, offers transformative advice for parents of strong-willed children, drawing from 25 years of experience and working with over 1,500 challenging kids.

Understanding Strong-Willed Children

Martin explains that strong-willed children primarily feel misunderstood. "These are kids who value their autonomy and independence more than they care about consequences. And that's why consequences don't work," he says.

Rather than seeing these children as difficult, Martin encourages parents to appreciate their independence and determination as future strengths.

Practical Approaches That Work

Martin recommends several effective strategies:

Change your posture: "It's almost impossible to yell when you're sitting down," Martin points out.
Use a neutral tone: Strong-willed children respond better to confidence than sweetness or authoritarianism.
Match their intensity: Validate their frustration instead of minimizing it.
Create movement: "Motion changes emotion," Martin explains, suggesting activities that redirect energy.
Identify triggers: Focus on understanding what sparks meltdowns rather than controlling behavior.

Martin reassures parents: "If you're listening to a parenting podcast, you're a good parent. So relax. You guys are doing a good job."

Your strong-willed child isn't being difficult—they're navigating the world their way. By understanding their nature, you can transform challenges into connection.

Want to hear more practical scripts and strategies from Kirk Martin? Listen to the full podcast episode for additional insights on parenting strong-willed children effectively.

To learn more about Kirk Martin:

https://celebratecalm.com/

Connect with Dajana Yoakley

Delight in Parenting

Step #1 — Get the 3 Steps to Reset Your Nervous System FREE Guide or book a FREE 20 minute consult.

https://www.delightinparenting.com

https://www.delightinparenting.com/book-online

Step #2 — Learn More about my signature online course: “Raising a Resilient Child”. https://www.delightinparenting.com/course

Step #3 — Connect With The Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/delightinparentingfree

Step #4- Follow me on Social Media:

https://www.instagram.com/delightinparenting/

https://www.facebook.com/delightinparentingcoaching/